Bet You Won't Do It- 21 Days Without Complaining Once!

(Read Time - 3 minutes)

“What the hell, $#&%*!” I yelled at the stereotypical “Masshole” driver that cut me off. I had just got off work and was on my way home. My mood had quickly changed from happiness to frustration and anger. “Why the hell do people drive like that?” I thought angrily to myself. Yet again, driving in Massachusetts had put me in a bad mood. I’m sure many of you can relate to this.

I had no choice but to yell and be put in this bad mood, right? The guy was an A-hole, right?

Wrong! We’ve just been programmed to think that way. From adolescence we have been taught that it is ok to complain about everything. “This soup is too cold”, “This tv show is terrible”, “My parents suck”, “John is so bad at baseball”, “I don’t have enough time to play”, and so on. It’s been engrained in our minds that it is completely OK. The funny thing is that all this complaining does nothing positive for us. It puts us in a negative state of mind as well as everyone around us. Most people are complaining at least 30-40% of all conversation! Really listen closely to what people say today and you’ll start to realize how true that statement is. Is there a solution to this life lessening problem? Yes, STOP COMPLAINING!

It’s an interesting thought right? Well, it’s completely possible… you just have to re-condition your brain. Will Bowen, a Kansas City minister and author, designed a way to stop complaining. He believes as do I, that word choice determines thought choice, which in turn determines emotions and actions. It’s not as easy as just not saying a few words, though. You can’t just tell yourself “I’m going to stop complaining today” and then do it. You need to train your brain to stop. Will gives a simple solution that comes in the way of a challenge: Go 21 days without complaining. He sells a special purple bracelet (I use a rubber band) that you are to wear and change the wrist you wear it on, every time you catch yourself complaining! If you do switch wrists, you also have to start the 21 days over again! (makes it really tough) This is known as metacognitive awareness training.

THE RESULTS ARE ASTOUNDING! I have been doing this for 2 weeks now and have noticed a significant positive change in both my attitude and mood. Now rather than flip out at a driver that cuts me off I say to myself, “Hmm he was probably in a rush for a good reason. I’ve been in a rush like that before.” Or “He probably didn’t see me.” Why get upset over one silly insignificant event? I just bought Will’s book, “A Complaint-Free World ” to gain a better understanding of his theories.

For the Challenge:

It is up to you to define what a complaint is, but I use the rule of thumb that it’s anytime you gossip, criticize, complain or curse at someone/something. I find that gossip is actually the most constant offender for most people, and the hardest to overcome. You’ll notice how easy it is to run out of positive things to discuss. You’ll become a better person because of it, though. I’ve also decided that if think and provide a solution at the end of the sentence; it doesn’t require a wrist switch. Let me explain.

The following would require me to switch wrists:

“Damn it! Sean’s late again! What a f*cking surprise. I’m so sick of this.”

This alternative would not:

“Man, Sean is late again. He is usually late so from now on I’m going to tell him to arrive 1 hour earlier than I want him to.”

Training yourself to come up with these solutions on the spot will make you much more valuable to others, as you will ease their worries as well as your own. This is a tough challenge, but you’ll be in good company with the 7,000,000 other people that have undertaken it. Try it for a few days and if you don’t notice a difference… well you’re probably doing something wrong. Good luck!